Posts Tagged ‘dump people’

The Three Questions Lady

Two things you probably already know about me: I like swearing and I like ranting. Today’s post will include both, and I also intend to show just how little it takes to set me off! Three simple questions could do it at any given time! Enjoy!

I was working at the counter today rather than spending my whole shift in the drive thru. When you’re working at the counter, you help the drive thru team if you’re not busy.

I wasn’t busy so I went over to the window to hand out an order that was ready.

A lady is sitting there, waiting in a blue car (not the racist in a blue car, I’ve made up my mind that if she comes back, I’m going to tell her to go fuck herself, and then deny it. I’ve been there for years and never done anything like that, she’s a racist. I think the manager will take my side.) This is a-totally-unrelated-probably-not-racist-lady-in-a-blue-car. I give her the drink, followed by the bag of food. “Here you are, have a nice day.”

“What kind of pop is this?” Are you fucking kidding me lady? Standard question in my *ahem* chosen profession: ‘fries and cola with that?’ FOR THE SAKE OF MY SANITY, PLEASE FUCKING PAY ATTENTION.

I look back at the screen to see. “It’s Cola ma’am.” WHY IN THE FUCK DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT DRINK YOU PAID FOR?

“OK, is there lots of ketchup in the bag?” Ummm, I fucking doubt it since it was ready when I got here and YOU DIDN’T ASK ME FOR ANY. Do you have any idea how dumb that question is? There’s not likely to be ANY fucking ketchup in the bag, nevermind ‘lots’. Stupid bitch.

“I doubt it, but I’ll get you some,” as I reach for some ketchup packets. ‘Lots’? How the hell am I supposed to know what ‘lots’ is to you? You have one goddamned order of french fries, are you stocking up at home? Really, who cares if I know what ‘lots’ means to you, why the hell would you need THAT much anyway? “Here you go” I say as she cups her hands together apparently so she can handle this bounty of ketchup packets she thinks she’s about to receive. What is this, the fucking ketchup kitchen? Fuck off lady.

“One more thing,” she says, JESUS LADY, THE DRIVE THRU IS SUPPOSED TO BE FAST. “Is the receipt in the bag?”

I know she doesn’t know that I didn’t put the food in the bag, but THE FUCKING BAG IS IN YOUR HAND LADY. I CANNOT SEE THROUGH THE BAG. I look behind me, the receipt is not on the receipt printer, so I would assume it’s in the bag. “I didn’t get the bag ready ma’am, I only came over to help and just handed it out, it should be in the bag,” I say politely.

She looks in the bag. This endeavour took way to many seconds. I LIVE MY DRIVE THRU LIFE IN SECONDS PEOPLE, HURRY THE FUCK UP. After a little digging around she looks up with a ‘proud of herself look’ and exclaims “Oh yes, it’s here. Thank You.” She smiles and drives off.

No, THANK YOU for getting the fuck out of the drive thru – FINALLY. People in the line are possibly starving at this point, and it’s your fault lady. Go fuck yourself. See, I told you it didn’t take much to set me off.




I’m sorry about the idiots in front of you!

I feel really bad for the folks who were at the back of the line over the dinner rush tonight. There always seemed to be one poor bastard trying to get something quick and get home but unfortunately he was stuck behind a bunch of idiots most of the time. Some of the people holding things up were stupid, some were rude and some were placing such ridiculously huge orders that it was almost impossible to be fast.

It only takes one huge order to ruin it for everyone. If you’re at the front of the line and it takes 8 minutes to deal with you, EVERYONE behind you is waiting 8 minutes! Worst part is, it’s YOUR fault, and everyone else gets mad at ME. So here’s a quick rundown of the three greatest hits from tonight.

Number 1

The guy places a pretty normal order, two combos, nothing made special. Alright, maybe we have someone who knows how to use the drive through here. Nope. He pulls up to the window and when I’m handing him the order he says “Are the condiments in the bag?”

I give him a puzzled look.

“Forks, and knives, and salt, and pepper” He responds.

“There are napkins and straws in the bag, I can get you some salt and pepper.”

“No, no, that’s good” he says and drives off. WTF? Condiments?  Straws and napkins are NOT CONDIMENTS. Forks and Knives? UH NO! They don’t come with french fries, nor are they condiments. But then, he didn’t even really want forks and knives, I guess he was just making idiot small talk.

Number 2

This car had two guys in it. They were likely high. It took them over two minutes to place their orders. The food was literally ready to hand out AS they were pulling away from the speaker. And that was the problem.

After paying for the second order, just before advancing to the next window to get their food, stoner # 2 says “Oh, can I have that with only ketchup?” Uh, NO YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKER! Do you think this just might have been some pertinent information to share with us MINUTES ago? Before everything was made? Before you paid for TWO orders? Before everyone behind you was waiting?

But of course “Sure, not a problem.” And everyone waits while we fix this for you. The drive thru is supposed to be fast.

Number 3

This guy was an asshole, and apparently dumb as shit to boot.

“Hi, can I take your order?”

“Yeah I’ll get 3 hamburgers with a bowl of soup and a cola.”

“Sorry, you want a hamburger with soup and a cola?” I try to clarify as I couldn’t hear him very well.

“Yeah, three of them.” Oh, so it’s not ‘yeah’ in that case, is it asshole? Is it three or one? Pay attention to my question or your order will get screwed up and when you come back to complain, I’ll lose my job for telling you we wouldn’t make as many mistakes if our customers weren’t so goddamned stupid.

“Oh, sorry about that. Did you want to upsize the cola?” A question I am SUPPOSED to ask. It’s part of my job, not some grand scheme I have made up to help the company make money.

Some people tend to get rude at this point. I’m not sure why, a simple ‘no’ would do. I can only assume it’s because they’re assholes. As stated previously, he was an asshole. Here’s the part about him being dumb: “Well is there a price difference?” No, shit for brains, we just think most people want less food for the same money. Upsize is a magical word that means you can have more food for the same price. It’s like when you buy a new car, if you get the all leather interior, it doesn’t cost anymore, right?


Here comes the rude voice! “I’ll just take the regular size then.”

So that’s it. Those were the standouts of the evening. The people with the HUGE orders were really getting to me too. It’s a good thing we don’t use pots for cooking. I’m reasonably sure there were a couple of points tonight where I may have filled one with hot grease and cartwheeled it out the window all over some dumb bastard.